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awake

Feb. 15th, 2009 | 11:40 pm
mood: awake

Let’s make a run for it.
You know you want to, you know you want this just as bad as I do.
Whether you’ll admit it or not!

The look you give me after I do something “cute”,
The way you hold me like I’d float away any minute,
How much caution you put into anything you do with me,
The way you play drums on my tummy,
Every single time you kiss me on my forehead or cheek,
That’s what I live for. That’s my fuel.

And you question how much I want this.
Psh, you’d be surprised love.
I just pray you feel the same.

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(no subject)

Feb. 5th, 2009 | 09:15 pm
mood: confusedconfused

In one of my nightmares, I was stuck in the bottom of a mouse trap. Except this was the master of all mouse traps. It had the sticky bottom, plus the inhumane spring trap that catches the pour mice's tail or whatever else happens to fall in the way. I fell from a bookshelf all the way down to the bottom and hit the mousetrap and got stuck. Yes, there was pain but that wasn't the worst part. It was the idea of everything being done. Not being able to get out, all of my dreams going out of the window. And eventually, I just gave up. I gave up. Depressing, right?

I hate nightmares.

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I don't make sense anymore.

Jan. 11th, 2009 | 01:48 am

I'm at a dead end, and you put me here.
Somehow, you're the U-turn at the same time.
But I can't find the path to it.

I don't get how easily you can find the path out.
But it seems, through the fog, like you're waiting here with me.
For now.

You know how tricky the fog can be. Damn colloids(;
I guess I just have to leap and hope that I land.
In your arms, or your car, if we're still talking symbolistic.

(:

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(no subject)

Jan. 10th, 2009 | 08:58 pm
mood: curiouscurious

I need new topics to write on.
I have a boring life.

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Meltdown

Jan. 5th, 2009 | 11:53 pm

Me and you. Us. Together, made into one. Discover. Are you ready for this? Countdowns lead to fireworks. Ignite, burn. In a remarkable way. Patience, one day darling. Me and you. Us. Together. I'm ready for this!

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(no subject)

Jan. 5th, 2009 | 12:30 am

You are simply the most complex relationship that I have ever had. And I think I love it. You aren't even mine yet, but you will be. You want to be. Thank you for coming back. I'm not going to be able to take it if you leave. Again. I love you, always have, always will. It's simple(:

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Writer's Block: Define Cheater

Jan. 1st, 2009 | 11:20 am
mood: aggravatedaggravated

What is your definition of cheating?


I am one of the people most against cheating. I think it is low, and hurtful. My definition of cheating is starting at kissing, or intimate touching like groping. Yes, flirting with other girls/boys and leading them on while you're dating someone else is still wrong. But it's not technically cheating, in my eyes. Although it is still extremely hurtful. In my opinion, if you're dating someone then you should be more than happy to just kiss them, or think that way about them, or anything further that happens in your relationship. No one else. If you aren't happy enough with that, then you shouldn't be in that relationship.

If you do cheat, then I think you should just fess up to it and hope that your partner can find a way to trust you again. It's not fair to them any other way. If they don't trust you, then you can't really blame them. But keeping it a secret for the rest of your future with them is not going to bring your relationship happiness in any way. So just please, don't cheat. It will save you both the drama.

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Happy New Year's, 2009

Jan. 1st, 2009 | 11:19 am
mood: discontentdiscontent

Well, I guess I should have posted a new year's resolutions entry. The only thing is I don't know if I have the mental capacity to do so. I've gone through so much this past year, and it's probably been the toughest year of my life. I grew up. In 08, I matured so much and I learned. I learned to love, to forgive, who to give my trust to, and I learned what the true meaning of betrayal and heartbreak are. Now, on the subject of heartbreak, I would always think that this is what changed me the most. But now reflecting, I don't really know if it is. Yes, it changed me so much. But I think the thing that changed me the most is my friends and friendships. And I'm tired of reflecting back on how much a guy hurt me. I'm just glad that 2008 has passed. And I'm ready to see what I'll be like in another year at this time. Because one year ago, I sure didn't think I would be who I am today. I'm ready for a fresh start, please.

My Resolutions:
Find out what truly makes me happy.
Get closer to my mom, or at least a better relationship.
Be happy with who I am, more confident.
Make more friends.
Get over him.

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(no subject)

Dec. 31st, 2008 | 11:05 am
mood: lazylazy

The past few days have been good. I've been pretty happy. And nothing is really wrong. This trip has made me realize how much I love and crave for the north. I can't wait to move somewhere around here. I love living simply. Even if just for a little while. It's very refreshing. The flight home will be depressing, hah (:

On the trip we've done a lot of cool things. Ice skating is probably my favorite so far, even though I might have busted my ass once. Hehh, after that comes the haunted 2nd hand shop that we visited. But overall, I just LOVE the snow. Cold weather has always astounded me.

And when we manage to get bored, we do things like this:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImjichEDw40

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FRESSHHH

Dec. 27th, 2008 | 02:17 pm
mood: crankycranky

Oh hayy.
Okay, so I have decided never ever to fly American Airlines ever again.
My paranoid mother decided to make me an "unaccompanied minor" just in case something happened. You know, so the people would bring us to our next gate and change our diapers for us and not let us breath. But, even though I had constant bitching about it, it actually came in handy. Our first flight went fine, nice and fun and smooth. But upon boarding our last flight, which was only supposed to be about 50 minutes long, one of the flight attendants came up us and was like "Well, what would you two do if the flight was canceled?" And we're like "Uhm, I don't know? Are we supposed to know? We're in Chicago!"
So, despite our completely optimistic attitude, it ended up being canceled completely. And they stuck I, the unaccompanied minor, and Hannah, who was not allowed to leave my side, in a holding room with a bunch of other teenagers. That was chill, except for the fact that we hadn't eaten since breakfast, and the vending machines wouldn't take dollar bills, and we had no change. But don't worry, because Hannah and I are creative. We bought two cokes, two sodas, and a water, which eventually gave us just enough money for some Cheetos to share. Later on, the people watching us gave us food vouchers. And the cash register lady at McDonald's tried to tell Hannah that chicken wasn't meat, so it's okay to get a McChicken if you are a vegetarian! Isn't your life changed by that little piece of information?

"You have to use all of the money on the voucher."
"I don't know what to get, I'm a vegetarian."
"Get a McChicken."
"I can't, that's meat."
"No, it's chicken."
"That's meat. I don't eat meat."
"Chicken isn't meat."
"Yes..."
"It's just chicken."
"OKAY! I DON'T EAT ANIMALS!"
".... Would you like a cinnamon roll?"
"Yeah, okay, sure, bye."

I hate idiocy. And it would have been nice to tell us we didn't have to buy our own food before hand, but oh well.
Hannah and I were determined not to sleep all night, because I'd rather not get raped at an airport. But, we did eventually crack and pass out at about 4:30, 5ish. And we slept in little chairs that we put together to make into a couch/bed thing. It could have been worse. We were more calm than our parents were. It was kind of like a little adventure(:
Long story short, we stayed overnight at the airport, our parents cursed the people out, we never got our luggage back, Hannah's dad had to come and drive three hours to pick us up, then drive three hours back, we both haven't showered in at least 48 hours, and we are deprived of sleep, we look like a hot mess, and I really feel the need to brush my teeth. Badly. And we met bunches of new friends who stayed with us until 4 in the morning. Ahh, don't you just love flying?!

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